Why do I like this crap? I'm watching AVP:Requiem and laughing at the acting, the plot, and the stupidity of it all. Yet I keep coming back for more. Let me explain what I'm talking about...
The movie is set in Gunnison, Colorado and I'm thinking to myself, "Hey, that doesn't look like Gunnison....at all." Of course, there probably aren't too many people who have even heard of Gunnison, so I guess they get a pass.
At the halfway point, I'm rolling my eyes at yet another forced romance that doesn't belong. Why does Hollywood continue to do this? Who looks at this poster and thinks, "This had better have a good love story or I am SO getting my money back!" No. This is a movie about two CG creatures killing each other and any human that's stupid enough to get in their way. Or at least it should be.
And speaking of stupid humans, you know how in cheesy horror stories the victims always run upstairs when they should just run out the front door? Yeah, the humans in AVP:R are bred from the same idiot gene pool. I wonder if anyone has made a list of Movie Darwin Awards? Hmmm, I wonder if there's money in that idea?
So I sit through 90 minutes of this crap and get to the final scenes and think, "Oooh! I wonder where they are gonna go with this. I need to watch the next one!" Seriously. Someone put me out of my misery. That, or tell Hollywood that interesting, over-arching storylines cannot span multiple crappy movies. It makes idiots like me give them more money.
Grade: C+ (only because I can't bring myself to give it a B-)
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