John's Movie Musings

When was the last time you saw Mark Wahlberg crack a joke? The Happening? OK, I'll give you that one, but for the most part, Marky Mark always stars in serious movies. Perhaps a smile ruins one's chiseledness?

With this in mind, it's obvious that Max Payne was going to take itself seriously. The last time we tried a serious movie based on a video game, we got and In the Name of the KingHitman. Can you sense the anticipation?

The movie follows your basic "Policeman's wife and child get murdered and he's spent his life trying to find the killer." Sort of like OJ's story, if he was innocent. That's a fine tale, but they screwed it up.

The movie takes place several years after the case has gone cold. Predictably, a break happens and our man Mr. Serious is on it. Clues are discovered but they're the kind that should have been found years ago. For instance, when he meets someone with a peculiar tatoo at the beginning of the movie, it's not until almost the end when he finds out that tatoo is the same as one of the murderers. Seems like something a man would never forget. And always cause him to glower.

Max Payne also has some interesting casting choices. Our Rap Genius Hero gets involved in a very uncomfortable conversation with Nelly Furtado. In the immediate next scene, we're introduced to Internal Affairs officer Ludacris. We were just one Justin Timberlake away from an MTV Movie Awards skit.

I'll skip the whole Norse element only because I have no idea what it had to do with the story. If you know, or can think of a good reason it exists in the story, I may up the grade a letter. Until then...

Grade: D