John's Movie Musings

May

4th

• Lucky You
• Eric Bana and Drew Barrymore chick flick --- There will be three people who watch it this weekend
• Spider-Man 3
• Oh hell yes!!!

11th

• The Flock
• No clue
• 28 Weeks Later
• This is the sequel to a pretty sweet zombie movie. If you haven't seen the first one, do.
• Delta Farce
• That "Git 'r Done" dude invades Mexico. My Spidey Sense is telling me this'll suck.
• Georgie Rule
• Jane Fonda and Lindsey Lohan. The one movie that'll suck more than Delta Farce.
• The Salon
• Might be a Barbershop rip-off.
  

18th

• Captivity
• Never heard of this one. But it's got that hot chick from 24 in it.
• Shrek the Third
• Another third movie in an outstanding series.

25th

• Bug
• Never heard of it, but it's an Ashley Judd movie. Which means it'll probably be worth a Netflix.
• Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End
• Our third threequel, for those counting. I hope it's better than the last one.
  

June

1st

• Gracie
• No idea
• Knocked Up
• This is that movie about the couple who have a kid, meet, then fall in love. Might be sweet. Might make you wanna gag.
• Mr. Brooks
• Never heard of it, but it's got Costner. Hmmmm, that means it'll be a three-hour bore-fest. I think I'll skip this one.
  

8th

• Surf's Up
• Yeah, I have no clue either.
• Hostel 2
• I never saw the first one, but heard it was a decent slasher flick. This one should be slashier
• Ocean's 13
• 11 was great, 12 was ok. Hopefully we'll get lucky with 13. (Fourth threequel)
  

15th

• Fantastic Four 2: Rise of the Silver Surfer.
• Hey, it might not suck. I mean, the Silver Surfer is cool, right? Yeah....it'll suck.
• Fido
• I don't think this one's about dogs.
• Nancy Drew
• You've got to be kidding me...
  

22nd

• DOA: Dead or Alive
• Yeah, that DOA. A videogame, for those of who who have never heard of it. And yes, this will suck like a roundhouse to the balls.
• A Mighty Heart
• Never heard of it. But sounds like a movie based off an Oprah book. Excited yet?
• September Dawn
• At first I thought this was a Neil Diamond movie, but then I remembered his song was called September Morn. So this'll probably suck.
  
• Evan Almighty
• Whew, the weekend is saved.

29th

• Die Hard 4.0
• Live Free or Die Hard. I just saw Rocky Balboa and it was cool. Maybe Bruce Willis can still be cool at 60.
• Ratatouille
• It's Pixelworks doing a movie about a french rat. A movie set in France....I wonder if Jean Reno is in it?
• Death at a Funeral
• I wonder if they're trying to be clever here...

July

4th

• Transformers
• Yep. Transformers. What's cool -- they got most of the voices from the animated series. What's bad -- This is a Michael Bay film
• License to Wed
• HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA --- gag

13th

• 1408
• This is about a hotel room, not a historical epic 84 years before Columbus. Crap.
• Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
• I'm excited about the movie. I'm not too excited about the "Why'd they cut that out" discussions. :)
• The Strangers
• OK, what do you think about any movie a studio dumps on the same weekend as Harry Potter? You called it.... crapfest.

20th

• Hairspray
• I think this is based on a musical? That just makes me giddy. /rollseyes
• I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry
• Adam Sandler goes gay on us. I guess this fits for this weekend with Hairspray also on tap.

27th

• I Know Who Killed Me
• I liked the title, then I saw that this is a Lindsey Lohan movie and got sad because we all know she don't know shit.
• No Reservations
• Oh I got plenty about this one.
• The Simpsons Movie
• Can I go without making a "Doh!" joke?
• Skinwalkers
• A story about two warewolf clans warring over a 12 yr old boy. Doh!

August

3rd

• Charlie Bartlett
• Robert Downy Jr. movie. No clue.
• The Bourne Ultimatum
• Our fifth threequel of the summer. I saw the trailer today and it's gonna rock!
• Hot Rod
• The stuntman movie that sounds like gay porn. I think I'll pass.
• Resurrecting the Champ
• This could have been the title to Rocky VI.
• Underdog
• Yeah, it's the Saturday morning cartoon dog...in a movie. Who knew?

10th

• Bratz: The Movie
• A movie about how little girls can dress like ho's. Just what we needed!
• Rocket Science
• No clue.
• Rush Hour 3
• Do you understand the words coming out of my mouth? This'll be hilarious. (Sixth threequel).
  
• Stardust
• The movie sites are calling this "The next Princess Bride." While bordering on blasphemy, I have my doubts.

And there ya have it. six threequels, plus many other sequels. Could be....interesting. But, there are a few good ones.